I Want a Mom
by A'isha Ishtar
Summary: The reason Envy hates Wrath so much is because the kid reminds him of himself. No pairings, just cute stuff between "brothers". If you can call Envy and Wrath brothers... and I think you CAN... Rated T for... well, just because Envy shows up...
1. Pilot

**Title taken from the song "I Want a Mom" by Cyndi Lauper, from _Rugrats Go to Paris_ (seriously, who DOESN'T love that movie? I know Wrath likes it ^^)**

**Enjoy!**

In Envy's opinion, there was nothing better than having _everybody_ gone for the day. With the hideout empty, he had everything to himself. Couch, TV, bathroom, kitchen, _everything_. Nobody could yell at him for doing anything, but he could yell at inanimate objects. Which he tried not to do too often... because yelling at the toaster to hurry up wouldn't make it go any faster. It still cooked the bread at its own pace, and no amount of shouting at it would change that, really. But anyway, he usually had fun while he was alone. The only thing better than having everyone gone for the day...

"ENVY, I'M BORED!"

... Was if they'd taken that little brat with them.

Envy groaned as the dark-haired boy raced into the room he had currently been occupying. The youngest Homunculus skidded to a stop in front of the couch, which was where Envy was at the moment. He blinked his big lavender eyes at the older one - well, Envy assumed he was blinking both eyes, because his left was hidden by his bangs. Hands in loose fists at his sides, he held Envy's gaze for maybe a minute.

Finally, Envy decided to change it up, and raised an eyebrow at the kid. He stretched and yawned, shifting his position slightly, just enough so that his feet now rested on the other arm of the sofa. He crossed his arms over his chest and allowed his eyes to close halfway. "Well? What do you want now, kid?"

Wrath gave his "brother" a grin and tugged at his arm. "Play with me, Envy! Play with me!"

Disgusted, Envy yanked his arm away and shoved the boy back. "And what the _hell_ would I do _that_ for?"

Wrath stumbled backward for a minute before landing with a thud on the hardwood floor. "Ouchies!" He rubbed his backside, and looked up at Envy with a hurt expression. "That hurt, you big meanie!"

Envy closed his eyes, swinging his arms so they rested under his head. "Yeah, that was kind of the point. You're not too bright, are you, kid?"

Envy expected Wrath to leave him be and go find some poor animal to torture instead. But that didn't happen. Less than thirty seconds later, he felt the kid pulling at one of his spiky strands of hair, like he was _trying_ to yank it right out of his scalp. "Come on, Envy! Play with me, please! I'm so bored! There's nothing to do!"

Envy snapped his eyes open and first pulled Wrath's wrist back so that his hand was off the androgynous Homunculus's carefully styled hair. Then he gave the child a backhand to the face, turning over to face the wall and hoping Wrath would leave him alone so he could take a nap. "Then go play outside and get the hell away from _me_!"

"It's _raining_, Envy! If I go outside I'll catch a cold! You don't want me to get sick, do you?"

"Like hell I don't! You _deserve_ to suffer! Now just get out of my sight, I don't care what the hell happens to you! You can go die in a hole for all I care, you bitchy little crybaby! Go rot in a well! You deserve to die for being such a whiny mama's boy!"

It wasn't even ten seconds before Wrath began pounding his little fists on Envy's back. "Why are you so mean? I just want you to play with me! Aren't _you_ bored, too? I mean, since Lust broke the TV yesterday, there's nothing for _you_ to do 'cause all you do is watch _You're __Cut Off!_ so you can see girls getting all up in each other's faces and calling each other Malibu whores!" **(1)**

Envy rolled over and his eyes almost bugged out of his head. Had Wrath seriously just said what he thought the kid had said? Envy decided to do the sane, sensible thing and give Wrath a whack over the head. "How the hell would you even know what they call each other? Sloth doesn't let you watch that shit!"

Wrath shrugged. "You talk in your sleep. Oh, and Mommy says you have a sailor's mouth."

"Yeah, well, you sleepwalk and you still suck your thumb and... wait a second. How the fuck do you know I talk in my sleep?"

Wrath made a sort of pout with his lips, sticking them both out. He clasped his hands behind his back and rocked on his heels. His eyes wouldn't meet the older Homunculus's. Finally he just blurted out, "I climbed into your bed last week 'cause Mommy wasn't here and I was tired and I didn't wanna sleep alone and everybody else said no!"

And then he darted out of the room like a speeding bullet, almost as if he _knew_ what was coming.

Envy blinked, staring at the dust trail Wrath had left in his wake. It took the green-haired boy all of about twenty seconds before he fully comprehended what the kid had just told him.

"WRATH, YOU GET YOUR CANDY ASS BACK HERE, YOU BITCHY LITTLE NANCY!"

When Envy finally caught Wrath, the kid was hiding in the bathtub with a bath mat over top of him, curled up in a ball as if that would somehow make him smaller. Envy ripped the bath mat off, tossing it aside, and grabbed the boy by his collar. Wrath yelped as Envy lifted him into the air, struggling to get free and flailing his mismatched limbs about. "Lemme go, lemme go, I'm sorry!"

"Sorry isn't even gonna _begin_ to make up for it this time, you son of a bitch!" Envy brought the kid up so that their eyes met, and it was evident that Wrath was terrified at the moment. "Where the hell do you get off even coming into my room, much less getting into my _bed_ - ESPECIALLY WHILE I'M STILL IN IT?"

Wrath squeaked, wiggling around. "I'm sorry, Envy! But I was so tired... and Mommy wasn't here! I wanted to go to sleep but I was scared to sleep by myself! And when Mommy's not here... when Mommy isn't here... I know you'll take as good care of me as she would!"

Envy blinked at the kid for a few seconds. When Sloth wasn't here, that automatically meant that _he_ filled the "mommy" shoes? He finally settled on smacking the boy across the face. "DON'T LIE TO ME, YOU LITTLE BASTARD! YOU THINK I'M DUMB ENOUGH TO FALL FOR THAT STUPID CUTE ROUTINE, HUH?"

Wrath sniffled and began to cry. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

Envy dropped the kid to the ground and glared. "Whatever you got to say in your defense, kid, you better say it now before I agree with the side of my mind that's telling me to carve you up like a Christmas ham and feed you to Gluttony when he gets back!"

Wrath was still bawling his eyes out. "I-I just wanted my mommy! She wasn't there so I went to you!" He curled up, throwing his hands over his head as more tears rolled down his face and were soaked up by the bath mat his so-called brother had dropped him on. It was almost like he expected Envy to hit him again. He wasn't wrong, but Envy found it just slightly disturbing that it was his first instinct to protect himself. "I don't wanna be with you anymore! I want my mommy! Make her come back!"

Envy sat down on the edge of the tub, watching the child's sorrow-induced tantrum. Something about this felt familiar, like he knew what Wrath was feeling right now. A half-gloved hand drifted to the center of his chest, where his Philosopher's Stone made its lodging. His fingers curled just a little, and he closed his eyes, trying to remember what the memory was. All he could remember was being alone... a feeling of being abandoned. His fingers tightened into a fist as he associated that sensation with his father. He didn't recall much about when he was transmuted, but he did remember that his mother, that bitch Dante... she hadn't even welcomed him. She hadn't given him a hug like a mother was supposed to do after she missed her child. She didn't tell him she loved him; she told him the purpose he would serve in the organization, and that was it. He had to give her _some_ credit - she stuck around and raised him, even after that Hohenheim bastard left. But the selfish bitch... first she poisoned him, and then she transmuted him and turned him into... _this_. He had a mother, sure... but she hadn't exactly been the kind of mother any child really wanted. Who killed their own son because they were feeding him mercury in some insane attempt to make him immortal? Honestly...

"I want my mommy!" Wrath was still wailing, trembling in a heap on the floor, a mess of tears and self-pity. "_I want my mommy_!"

Envy sighed, and bent down. Scooping the kid up in his arms, he carried him out of the bathroom. He found it odd that Wrath stopped shrieking as soon as he was picked up. He shifted Wrath's position and placed a hand on the child's back as he walked down the stairs, careful not to drop him. "You and me both, kid. Now quit your crying. I'll play _one_ game with you, but you better pick a good one."

**... *sob* So sad but so cute. I love the ending where Wrath's screaming that he wants his mommy, and Envy's just like "Yeah... me too..." Waaaai so sad! Envy just wants to be loved... T.T**

**And they say I can't write canon without OC's. Haha, I showed THEM. ^^**

**(1) - _You're Cut Off!_ is quickly becoming one of my FAVORITE shows. It's so funny but it has a lotta sad moments too. But the latest season where Jessica called Erika a Malibu whore... XD Priceless... and the fact that Wrath knows what it IS... XD**

**Well, stay tuned for the next chapter: Brother!**

**Just as a warning, during most of the next one Envy will be rather OOC, but there's a reason for it and it is explained... by Lust of all people. XD But at the end he starts being more like himself and I find it funny.**

**... Review or you'll make Wrath sad!**

**Wrath: *puppy dog eyes* Please... please review. You don't wanna make me cry, do you? *sobs***

**Haha, I've got a secret weapon... the cuteness of a child Homunculus! :D**


	2. Brother

Envy wasn't in a good mood very often, unless he had just killed someone or was planning on killing someone later. However, he hadn't killed anyone recently, and if he had been planning on a murder, he would have been bragging about his "brilliant plan" to everyone - and he hadn't been doing that. So he was just in a good mood today, and all the other Homunculi decided to just not screw with him. When Envy was in a good mood and it had nothing to do with killing, you took advantage of the fact that he wasn't yelling "Fuck you to hell!" at someone every five seconds and giving them the finger every ten.

He walked into the kitchen whistling, which wasn't something he often did. The fact that he was whistling a Three Days Grace song, however, was more like him. He began to riffle through the cupboards, looking for something to eat. "Good morning, everyone! How are we all today?"

Everyone but Gluttony (who was already busy stuffing his face) exchanged a surprised look. Wrath looked at Sloth and just shrugged. Starting to pump his legs off the edge of his chair, he grinned, even though Envy couldn't see. "I'm great, big brother! How did you sleep?"

"Ahhhh." Pulling down a box of Cocoa Puffs, Envy leaned against the counter and started munching on them, right out of the box. "Like a baby. You?"

"I snuggled up next to Mommy and she held me and sang till I fell asleep!"

"I wish _my_ mommy did that," Envy scoffed, tossing another handful of cereal into his mouth. "You're lucky, kid."

Wrath giggled. "Yeah, I know!" He hugged Sloth tightly. "My mommy's the best mommy ever!" He let go and blinked up at her. "Hey Mommy! When Envy's done eating, can I go play outside with him?"

Sloth glanced out the window. "It was raining a few days ago, did it stop? I wouldn't want you two catching a cold."

"Mmm-hmm, it stopped!" Wrath answered eagerly, nodding so fast and hard it was entirely logical to think that his neck would snap off. "So we can play outside, Mommy?"

Sloth nodded. "Yes, but wait until Envy's finished eating, dear."

"Okie-dokie!" Wrath hummed loudly, to the tune of "This Old Man". After a total of ten seconds, he began to sing it. "This old man, he played one, he played knick-knack on my thumb! With a knick-knack paddywack, give the dog a bone-"

"This old man came rolling home," Envy chimed in, placing the cereal box back up in the pantry. He put a hand on Wrath's head. "What do ya say we go have a race to see who can climb a tree the fastest, sport?"

"Yay!" Wrath hugged Sloth one more time. "Bye-bye, Mommy! I'll be back soon!" he called as he ran out after Envy.

"Have fun," Sloth replied. She looked over at Lust, who was holding back a fit of giggles. "Okay, Lust, _what_ did you do to the gender-confused palm tree?"

"When I came home a few days ago, he was playing Scrabble with Wrath," Lust explained. "They were arguing, fighting over 'that isn't a real word!', but at least they were playing together. Envy has never agreed to play with that kid before. Something happened while they were alone. So I just decided to... help him bond with Wrath." She winked. "I dyed a couple of affection gems and mixed them in with Envy's red stones last night. Now it's... _easier_ for him to express his 'brotherly' affection to Wrath." She crossed her arms over her chest. "But it's only going to work for today - about the time that Envy goes to sleep, the affection gems will start wearing off. So I sure hope Wrath gets the most out of it."

"I'm sure he will," Sloth chuckled.

Meanwhile, outside, Wrath and Envy were racing in the grass. Wrath was winning so far, but Envy was quickly catching up to him. "Look out, kid!" he cried, speeding up even more. "I'm gonna catch you! I'm gonna catch you!"

"Nuh-uh!" Wrath shouted in glee. "I'm too fast for you to catch me, Envy!"

"Nah... I think... I'm gonna catch ya!" Envy pounced on Wrath and tackled the kid in the grass, wrestling around a little and tickling him. "Told ya I'd get ya, sport!"

They were both laughing, but Wrath was laughing more because Envy was tickling him. "Envy, st-stop it! Cut it out, that tickles! Come on, ha-ha, knock it off! Ha-ha-ha!"

Finally Envy stopped. He fell back in the grass and spread his arms out, rustling the green vegetation. Mimicking him, Wrath collapsed and landed on top of Envy's stomach and chest, flailing his differently-toned arms out. Envy let the child stay, even playing with Wrath's hair. "I guess this is kinda fun."

"You said it," Wrath beamed, rubbing his side - it was sore thanks to Envy's tickle torture. "Let's stay out here till lunch, can we?"

"You got it, kiddo." Envy yawned, stretching a little. "So what are you thinkin' you wanna do next, Wrath?"

"Ammmmmm... I dunno." Wrath cuddled up and placed a hand on Envy's leg. "I just feel like sittin' here and watchin' the clouds. Can we do that for a while?"

"Sure, Wrath. Anything you want. So what's that cloud look like?"

"That's a pirate ship! How about that one?"

"It's a palm tree with a skirt."

"So it's your cousin?"

Envy chuckled. "Silly, my cousin wouldn't wear a skirt. She'd wear a full-out dress. What's that one up there?"

"Oh, that one's a doggie!" Wrath laid back, letting out his own yawn. "I don't think I coulda asked for a more perfect day!"

"Yeah, me either."

Wrath reached up and tugged at a strand of Envy's long hair. "Hey Envy? Do you have any brothers?"

"Well... I have two. But they're not entirely my brothers. We had the same dad, but not the same mom."

Wrath rolled over and snuggled into Envy's chest, hugging him around the stomach. "I never had brothers." He closed his eyes, smiling. "I'm glad I finally have a big brother now!"

Envy smiled too, and rested a hand on Wrath's head. "Yeah... I think I like being a big brother."

-xxx-

Sloth poked her head into Lust's room. "Hey Lust?"

The other woman glanced up from the book she was reading in bed. "What's the matter?"

Sloth scratched her head. "Have you seen Wrath around? I can't seem to find him anywhere."

Lust shrugged. "I think I saw him getting ready for bed in Envy's room."

"Huh..."

All of a sudden, a noise that sounded like the flesh-on-flesh echo of a slap resounded through the hideout. "GET OUTTA MY BED, YOU BASTARD!"

Somebody started to cry, and Sloth recognized it as Wrath. She walked into the hall to find Wrath sitting outside Envy's room with a bloody nose, sobbing and screeching in pain. He looked up at his "mother" and his eyes watered even more. "Mommy, Big Brother Envy hit me!"

Envy opened the door and treated Sloth to an angry pout. "He was sleeping on me!" He looked down at Wrath. "AND _YOU_ STAY OUTTA HERE, YOU MOTHER-FUCKING LITTLE FREELOADER!"

With that lovely sentiment, Envy slammed the door shut.

As Sloth scooped Wrath up in her arms, Lust chuckled from her room. "I guess the affection gems wore off."

**Woo hoo chapter 2!**

**OK... affection gems? My own invention. They're LIKE Red Stones, except instead of intensifying, like, anger and stuff, they intensify affection. :D So Envy's awesome big brother!**

**... I seriously LOVE the ending on this. Envy's a mean little asshole! (But he has a soft spot for Wrath, we all know it... heehee...)**


	3. Monster

"Envy! Envy, Envy, _Envy_!"

The green-haired Homunculus groaned as he looked back at the younger Sin following him. He stopped in the middle of the hallway and looked down at the child. "Okay... what the _hell_ do you want, huh? I'm kinda busy."

Wrath rolled his eyes. "All you're doin' is walkin' down the hall. That's not busy."

"Well, I was _about_ to be busy. So make this quick, you're cutting into my beauty sleep."

"Mommy's late again, and it's my bedtime!" Wrath instantly latched onto Envy's leg. "You gotta tell me a bedtime story so I'll go to sleep!"

Envy growled and shook the kid off his leg. "I don't _gotta_ do anything, you pint-sized little brat." He turned to leave, brushing his hair behind his ear. "I think you can get to bed without a stupid story."

Wrath came right up behind Envy and kicked him in the back of the knee, pouting though his "brother" wasn't looking. "Mommy says that if you don't want Lust to turn you into shish kebab, _you gotta tell me a story_!"

Envy sighed, and then turned around. "If I tell you a story, will you shut up, quit bugging me, and _go the hell to sleep_?"

Wrath nodded happily, his eyes getting big and shiny. "Uh-huh! Course I will! I'll do whatever you say if you tell me a story!"

Envy rolled his eyes as he followed Wrath to the kid's room. "I think I'm getting the better end of the deal, but whatever..."

Wrath had climbed into his bed by this time, and was now making a chrysalis around himself with the blankets. Grinning, he leaned back onto his pillow in expectance of his story.

Envy sat down on the bed. "You know you're going to seriously overheat, right?"

"I sleep like this every night! I'll be fine!"

"Masochist..." Envy muttered under his breath. "Okay, so... what kind of a story do you want?"

"I want a fairytale!"

"I don't know that many fairytales..." Envy scratched his head, raising an eyebrow as he tried to conjure up some kind of Dungeons-and-Dragons setting in his mind. "Okay, well... once upon a time there was this girl who was a princess... only she didn't know she was a princess because her parents were assholes who abandoned her. So then she met this beast who used to be a human before his bastard father turned him into a monster, and he tried to kill her but then decided not to, through reasons I'll never know. And then, um... there was something about a glass shoe and a pumpkin and some creepy old lady with magic powers, right?"

Wrath burst out laughing, burying himself under the covers. "Envy! That was such a stupid story!"

Envy felt anger rise in him and yanked the kid out from under his blankets of protection. He did the best he could! "Hey, I haven't been whatever age _you_ are for, like, almost 500 years! I don't remember any of these dumb fairytales. Which part did I get wrong?"

"You got the whole _thing_ wrong, Envy! There were, like, three different stories mixed in there. First you had Sleeping Beauty, and then you had Beauty and the Beast, and then that last part was from Cinderella." Wrath pushed his bangs back, yawning. "Why don't you make up a story? I think that'd be better than having you try and remember any more..."

Envy gave the kid a hard look. He sat there glaring at Wrath for all of ten seconds before he finally just said, "There's a monster in your closet."

Wrath blinked a few times, then cast a frightful glance over at his closet door. "... Really?"

Envy smirked. He had the boy's attention now. Spreading his hands apart, he shrugged. "Golly _gee_, of course!" he commented, in a stupid kind of manner that clearly told Wrath that he should have already known this. "There's a monster in _every_ Homunculus's closet. Every time they get a new room their monster finds them again and takes up residence in the new closet."

"A _monster_?" Wrath's eyes widened even further than they already were, showing how scared he was. "Like, a _real_ monster?"

"Well, du-u-uh!" Envy shook his head. "Man, how could you not know that? It's been in there ever since shortly after you got here. Yep, it's in there... watching you whenever you sleep. It's just waiting for you to let your guard down so it can eat you."

"E-Eat me?" Wrath squeaked out, covering his head with his blanket.

"Yup!" Envy continued gleefully. "There's not much you can do about it really. All you can do is sleep with a baseball bat and hope you can grab it to bash the monster's head in before it eats you."

Wrath gulped. "U-Um... is all that really true, Envy?"

"Sure as you're a little tyke bomb!"

"Do _you_ have a monster in _your_ closet?"

"Well, yes and no." He declined to mention the fact that the "monster" in his closet had been his own mirror. And the fact that it still wasn't gone, so technically he still had a monster in his closet. "See, I killed mine a long time ago."

"You _killed_ it?"

"Yup! I guess I'm more skilled than you. It takes a lot of power to slay a monster. I don't think you'll be getting rid of yours anytime soon. Really sorry about that." He got up and rubbed his hands together, heading toward the door. "Well, goodnight!"

* * *

Sometime after midnight, Envy bolted straight up in bed, blinking and trying to figure out what had woken him up. He didn't _see_ anything. He strained to make out whatever small noise it was...

"_Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh_!"

He jumped and fell out of the bed, a blanket landing over his head. As he got up, untangling the sheets from himself, he growled. That brat was going to pay big time for disrupting his sleep.

"Wrath!" He stalked down the hallway and banged on the kid's door. "Open up, Wrath! I know you're in there! Stop fucking screaming and open this damn door!"

"E-Envy!" Wrath's small voice cried out. "Help me! Help me!"

What the hell. Envy sighed, his eye twitching, and then opened the door, walking into the room. "Wrath! What would I tell you would happen if you woke me up again?"

Wrath was curled up in the corner of the bed farthest from the other side of the room, and he'd covered his entire body with the blanket, head and all. His eyes were barely just peeking out from the covers, and his hands gripped one of his pillows for protection. "E-Envy, help me," he whimpered, tossing the covers off but staying put on the bed. "I saw the monster. I saw the monster! It's in my closet and it's going to eat me!"

"Fuck it all to hell and back!" Envy stomped over to the closet and put his hand on the door. "I'll prove it to you!"

"Envy, no!" Wrath shrieked. "I don't want the monster to eat _you_!"

"There's no monster!" Envy flung the door open and used his hand to sharply gesture to the bare inside. The only things that were in there were Wrath's other clothes, shirts with sleeves and some pants instead of the tank top and shorts he normally wore. "See? No monster. I made up that story."

Wrath blinked his big eyes at Envy before tossing the pillow at him. "You made it up? That was mean! Why would you do something like that?"

"To scare you shitless so that you'd leave me alone and go to sleep! But apparently that didn't work! So there's no monster!"

"But you told me you had a monster too..."

"I lied! I lie a lot! I lie like a rug! Now you lie down, you be snug as a _bug_ in a rug, and go the hell to sleep! If you don't, I'm gonna beat your ass till you can't sit down for a week!" Truthfully, Envy _was_ a little touched by the fact that Wrath had said he didn't want the "monster" to eat him when he went to look inside the closet. But all he wanted right now was for the brat to fall asleep and leave him alone.

Envy turned around and looked back, opening the door. With complete and utter seriousness in both voice and expression, he told the kid, "If you're not sleeping by the time that _I_ get up for the day, I'm gonna break you into tiny little Wrath bits and eat them like Reese's Pieces."

He heard Wrath gulp as he closed the door and stalked back to his own room. Good. The kid was already cruisin' for a bruisin' - wasn't that what the humans said? - and he was _smart_ to be scared of Envy.

Now... sleep.

* * *

Though asleep, Envy distinctly felt an incessant poking in his side, the bare flesh of his waist. Annoyed by this, he blinked awake and rolled over to face the source of whatever had woken him up.

It was Wrath who had awoken him once again. The kid was jabbing his chubby little finger repeatedly into the pale skin exposed by Envy's top and skort, rapidly and not seeming like he was going to stop anytime soon. "Envy," he whispered urgently, his eyebrows knit together. "Envy, wake up! Envy!"

"What the hell is it now?" Envy shouted, flicking Wrath on the forehead right between his eyes. "I was having the most _delightful_ dream about killing humans! And then you! What do you want?"

"... The closet is growling at me. Can you come kill the monster? If you killed yours, then you're strong enough to help me kill mine. Please?"

"No!" Envy rolled back over to face the wall, curling his legs up under his backside. "Go back to bed. I told you there's no monster."

Just when Envy thought the kid had gone back to his room...

"Envy, can I have a baseball bat?"


	4. Play

Envy actually got lucky for once. Well, _he_ thought it was lucky at least. Lust was home, somewhere with Gluttony. All he knew was that whatever they were doing, it didn't involve bothering him, and that was good enough.

The only thing that he had to do was watch the kid for the afternoon, and for once it wasn't going to be too hard! Wrath had gotten tired sometime after breakfast, and decided to take a nap on the couch, where he was currently curled up with Duchess, a new stuffed animal Sloth had brought home for him a few days ago. Envy swore, the kid even took the bunny to the bathroom with him. Messed _up_. But at least he was being quiet, which made things all the easier for Envy.

Envy was currently sitting quite comfortably on the floor in front of the couch, reading a book he'd found in the library section of their home. It was a fairly theological text, referring to several religions and cultures, but it wasn't like that was _all_ it covered. It was actually a book that discussed the sin of envy. Since he personified the sin, he was naturally interested.

It detailed stories of the Roman goddess Invidia, embodiment of envy. She was despised by the other gods, and in turn she hated them for essentially giving her the boot. So in retaliation, acting on all her malice and jealousy, she turned to humans, the creations of the gods, to inflict her rage upon. She traveled to Earth, where the plants died in her wake, began to torment the humans who couldn't see her. She breathed a poison mist on her victims, who then immediately became overwhelmed by thoughts of envy. _"Why does she have that and I don't?"_ _"How can I make sure he doesn't get joy from that because I don't have it?"_

... Envy swore up and down, this may have been the first time he'd ever been attracted to a woman, and she was _fictional_. Talk about a kick in the head. Now he knew how all those damn _Twilight_ fangirls felt about Jacob Black... **(1)**

The book also explored the very feeling of being envious. As Envy himself knew very well, it was an all-consuming sensation. It made you want whatever others possessed, causing your own self-confidence to plummet to virtually nothing in the process. Whatever someone else had, if it was more than what you had or better than what you had, you coveted it. You plotted ways to get it for yourself, to get the same thing. If you couldn't, then the logical thing was to go and get rid of that which you could not have. _Oh yes,_ Envy though with a snicker. The envious were a malicious, sadistic bunch indeed.

He was just getting to the section that explained the role that envy had played in the rivalry between Cain and Abel... when he felt something hit him in the back of the head. He growled and looked back to see Wrath waking up. The kid was yawning, rubbing his eyes with Duchess in the other hand. "Good morning, big brother!" he cried happily, hopping off the couch (burying a foot in Envy's rib cage as well) and scampering into the kitchen.

Envy snarled and slammed his book shut, rubbing his now sore chest as he stood up and followed Wrath. He had to make sure the brat didn't get into any trouble before Sloth got back. "Wrath! It's not morning anymore, stop _calling_ me that, and where the hell are you going?"

"Duchess is _hungry_! She wouldn't eat any Cheerios at breakfast, so it's her fault, but I feel bad for her anyway. So I'm getting her some food!"

When Envy reached the kitchen, he found Wrath in the fridge, pulling out a package of hamburger meat, which he displayed to Envy. "Duchess doesn't want a lot, so me and her are gonna share it, okay? Okay!"

"Are you _crazy_?" Envy snatched the meat, tossing it back in the refrigerator and glaring at the child. "If you eat that, you'll get food poisoning and _die_!"

"Then why is it in the damn fridge?" Wrath retorted, putting his free hand on his hip. "Throw it in the garbage!"

"I _meant_ you gotta cook it! Pick somethin' you don't need to cook, you idiot!"

After Envy had satisfied the kid with a nearly-empty bag of potato chips, he dragged Wrath back into the living room and plunked him down on the sofa. "Now... _sit_ and _stay_."

"Mmmph!" Wrath chucked a suspiciously sharp chip at the elder. "I'm not a dog, Envy! I'm not your stupid pet!"

"_Stay_."

"Meanie. Duchess doesn't like you anymore. She told me she had a crush on you earlier 'cause you were cute or something, but now she says she doesn't like big mean _dummy-heads_!"

"Hell, who said I _wanted_ that thing to like me? _I_ don't like _it_."

"Duchess isn't an it! She's a _she_!"

"Sure looks like an it."

Wrath reached over and smacked Envy over the head with Duchess. "Well, so do _you_!"

"Why you self-righteous little-"

"Nyah!" Wrath, ignoring the older Homunculus, stuffed a few more chips into his mouth. He then tossed the now-empty bag into the trash can. "Envy, will you _pleeeeease_ play with meeeee?"

"No way, brat. Wait till Sloth comes home and torture _her_ with that."

"C'mon, Envy!" Wrath ran and bounced all around the room - on the sofa and all the furniture and everything. "Play with me! Play with me! Play with me, play with me, _play with me_!"

"Damn it, brat!" Envy grabbed Wrath and snatched the stuffed bunny from his hands. "You wanna play? Fine. We're playing keep-away, and it's my turn first!"

With that, he sped off in search of a place where Wrath would never find the rabbit.

"_Envy_!" Wrath raced after his brother. "_GIVE ME DUCHESS BACK_! _SHE'S SCARED OF YOU_!"

* * *

By the time Wrath caught up with him, Envy was sitting lazily on the bed, obviously waiting for the kid. "Hey Wrath," he smirked. "Are you tired yet?"

Wrath charged toward Envy, a small and dangerous fury, ready to punch him in the face. "Gimme back Duchess! Where is she? Give her back!"

Envy thrust a hand forward nonchalantly. It landed on Wrath's head/forehead, effectively preventing him from doing anything more than blindly swinging his arms and hoping to get a hit in. "What?" he asked, in the most innocent manner he could muster. "I'm just playing."

"Give her back! Give her back!"

"Sorry, squirt. Afraid I can't do that." He stood up, tossing Wrath onto the mattress. "You wanted to play, and I picked the game. See, we're playing hide-and-go-seek. Except it's a little different. Your stupid little doll? I hid her, so you have to find her."

"At least gimme a clue!" Wrath sat up, looking like he was going to cry. "I want my Duchess back _now_!"

"Sorry, no hints." Envy sauntered out of the room. "I'm gonna go make lunch. Hope you like spaghetti."

Wrath scowled after his "brother". He wanted Duchess back, and he _hated_ spaghetti.

* * *

Wrath had looked through nearly the entire house, top to bottom, within half an hour. He'd practically torn the place apart. There was only one place he hadn't looked yet.

He stood at the top of the stairs, looking down at the looming darkness of the basement before him. He gulped, taking one step down. "The laundry room... do I really... have to...? Envy wouldn't have put her down there..."

He gripped the railing, frightened beyond all belief. He hated the dark, unless he was going to sleep. But then he thought that if Envy wanted to scare him _and_ Duchess, he'd put her in the scariest place he could think of - and that was the laundry room. He could just imagine Duchess all alone and afraid down there...

"I gotta save her!" He bravely marched down the stairs, although the brevity faded just a little when each step creaked and moaned like a ghost. If there were monsters in the closets, like Envy told him, who was to say there weren't any under the stairs? "U-Um. if there's any monsters down there that like to eat little kids," he called softly, daring to sneak a peek over the rail, "I-I don't taste good at _all_. I taste like, um... socks. Yeah, the socks Envy's been wearin' all day. And b-believe me, that doesn't taste good."

He reached the bottom of the stairs and hopped off the last one, staying on alert for any monsters that might be there. Well, if there were any down here, they weren't coming out. He began to walk around, looking for any signs of his poor friend. "Duchess? Duchess, you down here?'

Wrath shivered, hugging himself. Why was it so cold down here? "This _isn't_ my idea of a game," he whimpered, reminding himself to kick Envy in the shin sometime later. "And it's _definitely_ not hide-and-seek."

A little bit of anger welling up inside him, he looked for something he couldn't break by hitting. An innocent curtain lay over some kind of furniture, quite obviously just _waiting_ for him to hit it. He smacked it, and a cloud of dust that had been gathering for who-knows-how-long rose up in his face. He snapped his head back, and as it dipped down swiftly he sneezed roughly, then rubbed at his nose, glaring at everything. "Damn, stupid Envy." He sniffed, heading over to look by the washing machine. "When I find Duchess, he's gonna be sorry!"

Wrath opened up the top of the washer and peered in. No Duchess. He sighed, closing the lid and dragging an arm across his eyes, which were quickly moistening. "N-No way, I can't cry. E-Envy's gonna think I'm w-weak if I cry. I can't..."

Downtrodden and tired, he sobbed a little and decided he should check the dryer anyway. It was probably hopeless, but he ought to give it a go. He opened the door, not expecting to see much. But lo and behold, something tumbled out. Upon closer, wide-eyed inspection, Wrath found that something to be...

"_Duchess_!" He hugged the bunny tightly. "I'm so glad I found you! I'm sorry! I'm never gonna let mean old Envy touch you again! I promise!"

Speaking of Envy, Wrath suddenly heard the older yelling. "_Wrath_! Lunch is gonna be ready in five minutes! I don't care if you found your dumb doll yet or not! You have that long to wash your hands and get your ass in this kitchen, or I'll kill you! Hear me? _Five minutes_!"

All went silent then, and Wrath smiled quite evilly at Duchess, a smirk that would have put Envy to shame. "Five minutes, huh? I think that gives us just enough time for a little revenge, Duchess."

He proceeded to giggle rather maniacally as he headed to Envy's room.

* * *

Envy had just mixed the spaghetti together, and had turned around to set the bowl on the table. He'd expected to see Wrath sitting there, stuffed animal nowhere in sight, and whining that he was hungry. But no. The kid was evidently nowhere near the kitchen, as Envy had told him to be. He'd even given him a specific time limit, for Ouroboros's sake! "Thanks for the useless child care tips, Sloth," he grumbled, setting the bowl down to search for the half-pint. "_Wrath_!" he screamed. "Where are you, and where the hell did I _tell_ you to be? _Huh_?"

He checked Wrath's room, but the brat wasn't there. Fed up with all this nonsense and getting hungry himself, he went to look in his own room. "Wrath, you better be at that fucking table in ten seconds! I didn't go to all that work making lunch just so you could decide not to eat! And I don't care if you're still looking for your stupid toy!" He grabbed the doorknob and pulled the door open, nearly cracking the wall. "If you're not in the kitchen by the time I count to three, I'm gonna - _what the hell_?"

Wrath was sitting there, at the vanity, with a couple of markers. The walls had been scribbled on in bright, gaudy crayon, and the kid was now drawing a twisted portrait of Envy on the vanity mirror. And that dumb rabbit was sitting on a pile of his skorts, which had previously been purple but had now been colored on with the markers - orange, pink, teal, green, yellow.

"_Wrath_!" Envy shrieked, horrified. "What the _fuck_ did you do? My room looks like Rainbow Brite threw up on it!"

Wrath glanced back, holding up the green marker. He gave Envy a cute, psychotic grin. "What?" He turned around and resumed his work. "I'm just playing."

* * *

**(1) - Yeah, OK. I know some of you are gonna go "WAT DA FOK A TWILIGHT REFERENCE? DIE DIE DIE!" But um... I actually somewhat like Twilight. So no bashing, OK? If you don't like it, just don't mention if you review, k?**

**IF YOU READ/ALERT/FAVORITE PLEASE REVIEW! I am very much motivated by reviews and it makes me want to write more. *giggles like Wrath***

**Oh yeah, plus anybody who reviews gets a Wrathy hug! :D**

**Wrath: *holds out arms* C'mon, I want some hugs! ^^  
**


	5. Mother

**PLEASE READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTE AT THE BOTTOM K THANKS.**

* * *

It was just one of those days.

Envy didn't know what the hell was wrong with him, but he sure hoped he wasn't getting sick. The diseases humans got were annoying, but those that affected Homunculi were worse; they had to be strong enough to infect them in the first place, after all. And Envy absolutely _hated_ being sick.

Yet here he was, laid out on the couch, not feeling like doing much of anything. He was cold, but he didn't want to get up for a blanket. He was a fair bit tired, even though he'd slept well the night before. He had a headache starting, and he just ached all over, like his body was resistant to the idea of getting up.

He was halfway asleep when Wrath came into the room with Duchess. He took one look at Envy, and came to sit beside him, wiggling up to be right next to him, lying down as well with his own body against Envy's. Any other time, Envy would have yelled at him and shoved him off, but he just wasn't feeling it today for some reason. "Hey, Big Brother Envy. How come you didn't go out with Lust and Gluttony to look for some humans to kill?"

Envy shrugged half-heartedly, draping his arm over his eyes. "I dunno. Didn't feel like it. What do you care?"

"'Cause, you usually really love going to kill humans. You asked for that as a birthday present one year." Wrath leaned his head against Envy's stomach. "You're not sick, are you?"

"No."

"Can I get you anything?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

Envy groaned. His headache was slowly getting worse. "Fine. Why don't you make yourself useful and get me a blanket? It's freezing in here."

"Yeah, I know." Wrath threw his arms around himself, shuddering. "If I _do_ get a blanket, can we share it and take a nap?"

Envy waved his hand. "Yeah sure, whatever."

"Mm'kay, be right back!" He hopped off the couch and went to go find a blanket, taking Duchess with him.

Envy grunted, and closed his eyes. Just for a minute, till the brat got back...

* * *

"Big brother, wake up!"

Envy's eyes shot open, and his arm flung outward as a reflex. He felt it connect with something, and he was sure that "something" belonged to Wrath. He glanced over, blinking, to see how much damage he'd done.

Wrath was rubbing his head, whimpering, and then pointed Duchess at Envy in an accusatory manner. "Hey! You weren't s'posed to take the nap all by yourself," he pouted, sticking his bottom lip out. "We were s'posed to take it _together_." He held up a thick yarn afghan. "I even brought a blankie for us to share! Just like you asked!"

Envy yawned, rubbing his eyes. "Kid, I'm tired. Didn't mean to fall asleep." He sat up properly, yawning again. "Just don't feel like doing anything..."

"Ohhh, I think I know why now." Wrath jumped up on the couch and put half of the blanket over Envy's lap before pulling the other half over himself. "Mommy's been in the house a few days, so everybody's lazy."

Envy raised an eyebrow at the child, silently questioning the kid's logic. "Uh... explain."

Wrath pulled Duchess up from under the blanket to sit on his lap. "Well, you know how we're all used to each other, so when we'ree around each other, we don't go totally insane?"

"I know I go insane when I'm around _you_." Envy shifted, so his hip and Wrath's weren't touching. "But yeah, everyone else is good."

"Okay, well..." Wrath stroked an imaginary beard, trying to look like he was thinking hard. "You know how whenever Gluttony and Lust aren't here for a while, and then they come back, and you get _really_ hungry and then really... umm, I mean... I don't get like that so I don't know the word but it's like... uhhhh..."

"Horny?" Envy guessed, leaning back. "Yeah, I see your point.

"That's how it works with Mommy too." Wrath kicked his legs, which weren't covered by the blanket. "Whenever she's around, because she never is during the week, everyone gets real tired and doesn't wanna do anything. She hasn't been here all week, 'cause she's been in the office with Pride. But she's here now!"

"I didn't think she was around."

"Yeah, she's talking to Father with Pride."

Which brought Envy to his next question... "If she's in the house, how come _you're_ not _with_ her?"

"'Cause. I'm not allowed. She said they were talking about grown-up things so I had to find something else to do."

"I see." Envy stretched his arms, blinking sleepily. "So you wanna take a nap or what, kid?"

"I wanna do whatever _you_ wanna do, Envy. Little brothers always listen to their big brothers."

Envy let out a breath. "So... you do realize that Sloth isn't your real mom, right?"

"Of course she's my real mommy! Why wouldn't she be? Who else would be my mommy?"

"The Fullmetal pipsqueak's loud, bitchy teacher."

"She sounds mean. I don't want a mean lady for a mommy."

Envy rolled his eyes. "I had one, didn't stunt my growth."

When he glanced back down, Wrath was staring up at him with an incredulous expression. "_You didn't have a nice mommy_?"

"Pfft. My mom's an evil bitch."

"OMG!" Wrath was practically freaking out by now. "Who's your mommy? I'll have my mommy beat her up! Mommies are s'posed to love their kids!"

"Wrath, my mom is Dante. _Nobody_ gets to hand her ass to her, even _if_ she deserves it. I mean, it doesn't _matter_ how bad of a mother she is, she's still mine."

"That's _horrible_," Wrath whimpered, looking like he was about to cry. "I-I can't believe you didn't have a nice mommy like mine!" He played with one of Duchess's ears. "But I guess it probably explains why you didn't grow up right..."

"And what the hell do you mean by that? I grew perfectly fine! I'm not short like that Fullmetal pipsqueak!"

"No, your _body_ isn't what didn't grow up right. It's this." Wrath reached over and put a hand on Envy's chest, then put it on his own chest. "This right here. Your heart didn't grow up right, 'cause your mommy didn't love you."

"And _yours_ did?"

"Well, I dunno. It's not all the way grown up _yet_, 'cause I mean... I'm still a kid. But you're not. Your heart shoulda grown up right, but it didn't. It's 'cause your mommy never loved you or anything. Did she ever _tell_ you she loved you?"

Envy glanced down, trying to remember if she had. Well, _if_ she had, which was a pretty big if, he didn't remember it. "Nope."

"She ever kiss you goodnight?"

"Nuh-uh."

"Ever hug you?"

"No."

"This is awful! Your mommy never hugged you and she never kissed you goodnight and she didn't love you!" Wrath was crying by this point, trying to hold it back but not doing a very good job. He leaned over, collapsing on Envy's lap and sobbing. He rubbed his eyes and then held up Duchess. "Here. If you hug Duchess, it'll make you feel better."

Envy raised an eyebrow, _really_ wanting to shove the kid off his lap. "And you think that because...?"

"Because!" Wrath hugged the bunny himself, snuggling into it. "Duchess has all of Mommy's love in her. So whenever I hold her, it makes me feel like Mommy's right there with me, even if she's not. So if you hug her, you'll feel Mommy's love too. And maybe if you can feel love from any mommy, even if it's not your own mommy, maybe your heart might grow up just a little."

Envy sighed. "If I do, will it make you happy? And can we go to sleep?"

"Sure!"

"Fine then, give it here."

"_Her_," Wrath corrected venomously.

"Fine, give _her_ here."

"Kay!" Wrath handed Duchess over. "Now hug her."

Envy glanced down at the stuffed rabbit, and then decided to just suck it up and squeezed the thing. He held it as close as he could without gagging, and was surprised to suddenly feel kind of... warm. He hadn't even felt this warm with the blanket on him... and it hadn't been instant...

He quickly tossed the thing back at Wrath. "There. Now let's go to sleep."

"Wait!" Wrath whined. "But didn't you feel better?"

"No." Envy pulled the blanket back over himself. "Now go to sleep. I'm sure Lust'll wake us up for lunch."

Wrath sighed. "Okay..."

* * *

Sloth walked into the living room, slightly worn out from her meeting with Pride and Father. "Wrath honey, it's time for..."

She trailed off when she saw Wrath silently sleeping on the couch, curled up next to Envy with his head on the other boy's shoulder. They both had a blanket over them - the _same_ blanket. Envy was asleep too, and his hands were resting on top of the blanket in his lap. Wrath's hand was resting on Envy's palm, and Envy hadn't made any attempt to move it. Wrath had his other hand in Envy's lap too, the one that was holding Duchess.

Sloth's mouth turned up slightly, and she went to wake Wrath up gently...

... But not before taking a few pictures. Boy was Envy's online Homunculus fan club going to have a field day with those... she could just hear their posts. _"OMG! He's the big brother type!" "Isn't that sooooo adorable?" "I just want to hug both of them! Waaaaah!"_ Of course with plenty of stupid hearts and smiley faces.

... Oh yeah. Envy was going to kill the computer.

* * *

**OK guys... I KNOW IT'S BEEN A WHILE BUT SERIOUSLY? You guys used to review! I love reviews because they motivate me! I'm sorry, but I don't feel very appreciated. I updated and only ONE person reviewed. I seem to remember receiving at least 5 reviews when I hadn't even updated! And I can see how many of you are reading, 43 of you after I updated? And not one review except for Lilac Rose6? That makes me feel unloved. Sorry if I offend anyone by pointing this out, but that really makes me feel bad. If I did offend you, don't call me out on it.**

**Thanks for reading! I appreciate all my readers, especially reviewers! Thanks to Lilac Rose6 for being the only one last chapter, and I REALLY HOPE more of you review. Thanks! Love you all ^^  
**


	6. Cookie

**ZOMG FIC SPAM. :D ... Me likee the FMA kick I'm on... hehehehehehe... me sense a Christmas special coming soon...**

* * *

"_Jingle bells_! _Jingle bells_! _Jingle all the way_!"

Envy groaned as he pulled his blanket tighter around his body. The brat had been running around singing that same, _stupid_ human Christmas carol for the last half hour. And needless to say, it was improving neither the chilly temperature nor the elder Homunculus's mood. "Wrath! Shut the hell up and sit down! You're making me dizzy!"

"I'm just trying to warm up!" Wrath stepped in front of Envy, pulling the already-too-long sleeves of his red jingle bell shirt down over his hands. "_And_ get you in the spirit to see _Santa_!"

Envy rolled his eyes, shivering. "You do know, Wrath, that Christmas isn't for, like, another _month_?"

"It's _never_ too early to start singin' Christmas songs. _Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la_!"

Envy swore his teeth were chattering as he scoffed at the kid. He begged to differ, but decided not to comment. "Man, this is ridiculous. It's gotta be the coldest day of the damn year, and it's only frickin' November!"

"I know." Wrath's sleeve-covered hands rubbed his arms. "I can't believe Father made Pride and Mommy go to work in this!" He bounded over to the window, and out of boredom Envy followed him. "Look at all the snow out there! I sure hope Mommy doesn't catch a cold..."

"Gee, I sure hope _you_ catch one when I throw you out there to chase away the voices in my head," Envy mumbled, tossing his useless blanket over the back of the couch.

"Huhm?" Wrath inquired, turning away from the window.

"Nothing, nothing... so hey. You got any ideas about how to warm this place up? Blankets aren't cutting it, it's like living in a meat locker, and pretty soon we're going to start freezing off important parts of our anatomy."

"Well, you should be wearing a sweater like me. Mommy bought this one for me. And _you're_ still dressed like a Malibu whore."

"And I thought Sloth told you to stop using that phrase or you'd get a spanking."

"What the dame don't know won't hurt her, see?"

"And, uh... no more old detective movies, kiddo. So how are we gonna warm the house up, Wrath? It's unbearable."

"Un_acceptable_," Wrath agreed with a grin.

"Exactly. So any ideas, brat?"

"Hmm..." Wrath's imaginary beard from the last cold spell returned as he used two fingers to rub it. "Well, when Mommy and Lust bake stuff for Gluttony, it always gets real hot 'cause they're using the oven. So why don't we try baking something?"

"Hey, that's not a bad idea." Envy shuddered, trying to rub away the goosebumps that had already risen on his arms. "Damn, let's hurry up and get started. I remember a good recipe for homemade bread, I think..."

"No."

Envy looked down at the kid, eyebrow twitching. "What do ya mean, 'no'? _You're_ the one who just suggested we should bake!"

"Yeah, but we're _not_ making bread, Envy. That's boring. We're gonna make cookies!"

He just kind of stared blankly. "... Cookies?"

"Mmm-hmm. Chocolate chip. Mommy has the recipe in her room! I'll go get it - it's easy." He ran off in the direction of Sloth's bedroom. "She says all you have to do is look at the picture and make it!"

Envy rolled his eyes. "Well, that explains her cooking..."

Once Wrath got back, he handed the packet of recipes to Envy. "It's in here."

"Um, okay... you head into the kitchen, I'll find the stupid recipe..." Envy looked up from the book. "And wash your hands! Food poisoning is _not_ on my to-do list today!"

When Envy finally found the recipe and had walked in the kitchen, Wrath was standing on a chair, with some bowls on the counter, gleefully banging the metal cookie sheet with a wooden spoon. "Kid, knock it off. I can't hear myself not think." Envy propped the book up on the counter. "Okay, well... let's see what we need. Get this stuff, okay? Mmm... eggs, flour, sugar, butter... baking soda... chocolate chips... huh, looks like that's all we need. You getting it?"

"Mmm-hmm, I'm comin'!" Wrath hurried over, putting everything on the counter. "Don't we hafta turn the oven on?"

"Oh... yeah. Go put it on... uh... 350, it looks like." As Wrath bounced over to the oven, Envy opened the carton of eggs. "Kay... let's see, we need two eggs..." He cracked them over the bowl and dropped them in, tossing the shells in another bowl. "Mix it with the butter and sugar..." He grabbed a spoon and began to beat it all together, whipping it from yellow orbs surrounded by white into a light gold liquid. "Hey Wrath! Get over here, put the flour and baking soda in!"

"Comiiiiiing!" Wrath climbed up on the chair and grabbed the bag of flour, as Envy wiped his hands with a paper towel. The child hummed and tipped the bag, dumping the flour into the bowl with the egg mixture.

Some of the white powder puffed up around the two Homunculi's faces. Both Envy and Wrath sneezed loudly, turning away from the counter. Envy snapped his head back immediately after this. "Wrath! Use a frickin' measuring cup next time!" he complained, sniffling and shaking his head to clear himself of the powder.

Wrath rubbed his nose with his wrist. "You got 'em all on the other side!" He crossed his arms, pouting. "_And_ you didn't even say bless you."

Envy shook his head again, brushing off his top. "Whatever... well, mix that up while I open the chocolate chips. Then we have to..." He glanced at the recipe and blinked. "Oh hey, after you mix it up we get to add the chocolate."

"Then Wrathy gets to lick the spoon!" Wrath sang out, rapidly taking said spoon to their mixture.

"Lick the spoon? Wrath, have you gone bananas?" Envy tore open the bag of chocolate chips, then proceeded to measure out a cup of them. "Did you not just see me put _raw eggs_ in that bowl you're mixing? If you eat that before it's baked, you'll get salmonella. And that'll make you throw up... with no mercy. Like, constantly. It's gross. And I'm not going to be the one holding your hair back while you barf over the toilet."

"But cookie dough is _yummy_!" Wrath insisted, pausing to let Envy put the chocolate chips in. "Mommy's let me eat it before, and I didn't hurl. Besides, Mommy wouldn't let me eat something if she thought it'd make me sick."

Envy eyed the mixture as Wrath continued to stir it. "Are you sure, kid?"

"Yeah. Except for the actual cookies, the dough is the best thing ever."

"How do I know you're not trying to trick me and laugh when I throw up?"

"I wouldn't do that!"

"Says the kid who drew all over my room and dyed my skorts with Sharpies using his stupid alchemy. One of them is still orange. And I _hate_ orange."

"That was revenge. I wouldn't be _that_ mean without a _reason_! I'd never try to make you throw up on purpose unless you did somethin' to me."

Envy leaned suspicious over the bowl, analyzing it carefully. "... You eat it first."

"Oh boy, sure!" Wrath gave the batter one last stir, then yanked the spoon out and put it in his mouth. "Mmm... c'mon, Envy, have a little!"

Envy picked up the spoon by the bowl and took a small scoop of it. He looked at it tentatively, then slowly slipped it into his mouth, sucking the dough off the cold metal. "Mmm... hey, it's not bad. It might as good as a chocolate parf..." His face suddenly turned green and his eyes grew wide. The spoon clattered to the floor as he raced out of the room. "Oh God, I'm gonna puke!"

Wrath continued licking the batter off his own spoon, staring after his brother with a confused look. "Envy?"

Greed walked into the room, cleaning his sunglasses on his shirt. "Hey, I thought somebody was baking. Hey kid, what's the matter with Envy?"

Wrath took the spoon out of his mouth just long enough to answer. "The cookie dough made him ralph."

Greed sweatdropped, and made the wise decision to return to his room, where his latest "girlfriend" was waiting for him. "I _don't_ wanna know..."

* * *

By the time Envy came back to the kitchen, clutching his stomach and moaning, Wrath was already plopping little spoonfuls of the cookie dough onto the metal sheet. He'd turned the radio on and was singing along to it - although Envy thanked his lucky stars that it wasn't Christmas tunes this time. "_I whip my hair back and forth_!_ I whip my hair back and forth_!_ I whip my hair back and forth_!..." As Wrath sang, he bobbed his head, acting out the motions of the song's lyrics.

... Although _that_ song was quickly getting annoying as hell too.

Envy walked over and turned the radio off. "How come _you're_ not sick?" he whined, getting a glass of water to rinse his mouth out.

"I dunno. Maybe I'm used to it." He made another "cookie" on the sheet. "And you're _not_ sick. You feel better now that you threw up, right?"

"Yeah, I guess..." Envy took a few sips of his water and exhaled. "Well, you think the cookies are ready to go in the oven?"

"Yeah, just as soon as I finish up all the dough." Wrath put another dollop on the sheet. "Hey look, I made _this_ one into a heart."

"Beautiful," Envy said without even really looking, as he was opening the oven door. "Hurry up, oven's getting really hot."

"Okay, almost ready!"

A moment later, Envy slid the tray into the oven and closed it. "Okay, how many minutes does the recipe say?"

"Um... eight dash twelve."

"Alright, so we'll set it at ten." He pressed the timer button ten times, then the start button. "And now... we wait."

* * *

After ten minutes of staring at each other, and the oven timer, the thing finally went off. Wrath cheered as Envy put oven mitts on and took the sheet out. He put it on top of the stove and took a look, pulling the gloves off. "Well, they look pretty good. Definitely not burnt."

"Yum!" Wrath reached for a cookie, but the second he picked it up he dropped it right back on the tray again. "OW OW OW!" He began to cry. "_Envy, it huuurts_!"

"Shit!" Envy grabbed the kid's wrist. "Well, what did you do that for? You _knew_ they were hot!"

Wrath was flailing his other arm around, screaming. "_I burned my hand, I burned my hand, I burned my hand_!"

"I know that! Come here!" Envy picked him up off the chair and carried him over to the sink. After finding a position that was comfortable for both of them and he was sure he wouldn't drop the brat, he flung the cold water on and stuck Wrath's hand under it, getting the edge of his sleeve wet in the process. "There, now stop crying! You're fine! It didn't leave any marks, it's just a little red! It matches your shirt now!"

Hand still wet, Wrath threw his arms around Envy, sniffling and sobbing. "Envy! Envy!"

"Alright kid, get off me. You're not gonna die." Envy put the child down and tried to dry off. "We have to wait five minutes for them to cool before we can eat them. Why don't you go pick out a movie and get some blankets? It definitely got warmer, and with a blanket it'll be nice and toasty. And a movie sounds good on a day like today, right?"

"Okay..." Wrath wiped his hand on his pant leg and went into the living room, a slight grin coming back. "Cookies!"

* * *

Envy came into the living room with the plate of cookies and a mug. He found Wrath curled up in a blanket with the remote, playing with the Menu button. "I have to ask, Wrath, _what_ enjoyment could you _possibly_ be getting from that?"

"I was waiting! There's your blanket." He glanced over, then reached for a cookie when Envy put the plate down. "What's in the cup?"

Envy looked down at the light cocoa liquid and sighed. "Well, I thought I wanted hot chocolate... but now I don't feel like it." He handed the mug off to the child. "So you can have it."

"Yay! Thanks!" Wrath happily took the cup and sipped it after taking the first bite of his cookie. "Yum. I think these are almost as good as Mommy's cookies, Envy! Try one!"

"Alright, but start the movie." Envy selected a cookie and bit into it, wrapping his blanket around himself. Good, it was nice and warm in the house now. "Mmm, this _is_ pretty good. I guess we didn't screw up as bad as I thought."

A scream was tossed out of the TV screen and Envy nearly dropped his cookie, choking on what he'd already swallowed. "Whoa! Kid, what movie did you pick?"

Wrath grinned. "_Texas Chainsaw Massacre_!" His first cookie was long gone and he was already getting another. "What's better than humans killing humans? Nothing! Ha-ha!"

Taking another nibble out of his cookie, Envy remembered when he'd first become a Homunculus - well, when all those horror movies came out anyway. He'd watched every one he could get his hands on... over and over, too. He swore, Wrath was getting more like him every day. It was the slightest bit scary, but...

"Look out! There's Leatherface with his cool huge-o chainsaw! Ha-ha-ha-ha, get 'em, Leatherface!"

... Hey, maybe they _needed_ a mini-Envy around here.

**REVIEW PEEPS. I LOVE DA REVIEWS, I EAT 'EM FOR BREAKFAST. OM NOM NOM.**

**Oh yeah by the way. Infamousplot! I returned to reading your ways to annoy the FMA characters... *cracks up laughing* ONE MINUTE BREAKFAST! POOR WRATHY! *collapses out of her chair dying of laughter* Laughed SO hard when I read that... Envy's mean. XD**

**THANKS FOR READING AND REVIEWING ME LOVE YOUUUUUUU ALLLLLLLL!**

**Oh yeah by the way: SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION. XD I'd like people to check out my other stories involving Envy and Wrath.**

**The newest one is "Love Without Emotion" with my OC's Apathy and Anguish (2 of the original 8 sins! And you'll understand that if you read the author's note on the first chap...).**

**The half-old half-new one is called "Vices", in which there were 7 original vices that correspond to the sins, of course Homunculi. Romance involving Invidia with Envy, Avarice with Greed, Fury with Wrath, yadda yadda...**

**And the oldest one, which I believe I started even before this one, is called "A Sin Among Sins" and features a half-Homunculus named Skye. It's the one that has the most Wrath in it besides Envy... in fact, at the moment I think it has more Wrath THAN Envy. *facepalms* So Wrathy fans, go there! Skye is super nice to Wrath... and at one point, Wrath tries to put itching powder in Envy's underpants! Tell me that's not funny.**

**OK SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION IS OVER NOW.**

**Also, if anyone can think of any one-word prompts that they'd like to see as a chapter in this, let me know! I only have 28 planned so far. *devious smile* Oh yes... FMA KICK RULES! *goes to write more for fans***

**THANKS GUYS! ^^  
**


	7. Drawing

"Hey Envy! Hey Envy! Guess - Guess what day it is today!"

Envy sighed, glancing up from his book. He was _trying_ to learn more about that Invidia, the Roman goddess he was so entranced by, but the brat was making it almost impossible. "Well, I'm guessing it's not Bugger Off and Leave Envy Alone Day."

"It's Mommy's _birthday_! The day she became a Homunculus! She said she didn't want a party..." Wrath looked sad relaying that bit of the news, though he quickly recovered. "But I still want to give her a present."

"Fascinating." Envy yawned. "Now, can we please _pretend_ that it's Bugger Off and Leave Envy Alone Day? That would be just _awesome_, kid."

Instead of taking this wise suggestion, Wrath plopped himself down beside Envy. "_But_ I have a problem. And I thought my big brother could help."

"Sure. When hell becomes a series of overpriced ski slopes."

"I don't know what to give Mommy for a present!" Wrath persisted. "I don't have any money, so I can't buy her anything."

"Hey, I know what _I'd_ like as a present, if it were _my_ birthday," Envy commented, turning a page in his book.

"Oh, what?"

"A zipper," he replied blankly. "For your mouth."

Wrath pouted. "Meanie. So anyway, I can't buy anything for Mommy. I wish I could, but I don't have money and I have no idea how to get any." He suddenly became enlightened to the concept of borrowing. "Hey Envy, do _you_ have any money?"

"Not that I'm gonna let _you_ put your sticky little fingers on."

Wrath sighed, playing with Duchess's ears and resting his cheek on top of her head. "I want to make a present for Mommy, but I don't know _what_ to make. Do you have any ideas, Envy? Like, an art project or something?"

Envy leaned back, his eyes scanning the "portrait" of the goddess Invidia. He felt his skin moisten, and something in his chest cried out. The only catch was that there was probably nobody like this vision in the entire world. Why weren't there more pictures of this imaginary woman? He supposed it might be because of the fact that while other sins interested people, envy scared them - made them nervous. Only a few dared to paint physical representations. "Well, kid, uh..." He swallowed, trying to regain his composure from the image. "Why don't you make, like, a drawing for her? Moms love that kind of sappy shit, especially if you write 'I love you' or something on it."

Wrath giggled and tackle hugged Envy, practically knocking the other boy over. "That's a _great_ idea, Envy! I bet Mommy would really like a drawing! Can you go get paper and some crayons? I need help figuring out what to draw. Please?"

Envy growled, but closed his book. "_Fine_. It looks like I'm not going to be getting any ready done today anyway."

* * *

Envy placed a box of crayons down on the coffee table, along with some sheets of paper. "There, kid," he sighed as he got down on the floor as well, across from Wrath. "Knock yourself out, _please_."

Wrath grabbed the box and opened it, dumping all the crayons out on the table before laughing gleefully. "Yaaaay!"

"Wrath! What the hell - you're making a mess!" Envy quickly recovered all the scattered crayons, placing them back on the table. "Now, be. _Careful_."

"Okay, okay." Wrath snatched the blue crayon and held it to the paper, but then looked up at his brother. "Um, Envy? What should I draw?"

"Why are you asking _me_? I didn't have a mother who wanted pictures from me, remember? The most she wanted out of me was silence. Reflecting, deafening, _soul-ripping_ silence." With that, he took out his bitterness on a piece of paper by shredding it rapidly and glaring at the pieces of confetti he'd just made.

"Please, Envy?" Wrath begged, not at all disturbed by this. Envy had a mean mother, after all; it was to be expected that he acted out... "Gimme an idea! I can't think of anything!"

"God, I dunno..." Envy scratched his head, exhaling. "Why don't you draw you guys together? You seem keen on that idea, and you do spend a lot of time together."

"Okay!" Wrath took the crayon to the paper, beginning to draw Sloth. "Envy! Why don't you draw something too? I bet you're a good draw-er."

"First of all... I'm pretty damn sure the word ain't 'draw-er'." Envy reached for the green crayon, simply resigning himself to the fact that he was going to do this, whether he wanted to or not. Wrath would complain like hell if he didn't. "And I'm not very good. About the only thing I can draw is stick figures." He began to draw a stick figure of himself.

"I'm sure you're really good, Envy." Wrath was busy scribbling Sloth's dress, probably making it a lot longer than it really was. "A lot better than me, anyway."

"Pfft. I doubt it." He was now creating his spiky hair, using sharp, deliberate strokes on the crayon. Once he was done, he put the utensil down and gave his stick-figure-self-portrait the once-over. He blinked. Wow. Now he could see why everyone called him "palm tree".

* * *

"Envy, I'm done!" Wrath proudly held up his picture of himself and Sloth. He'd drawn Sloth giving him a water-hug, and he was hugging her; he'd drawn her holding him close enough to do so. "What do you think?"

Envy barely glanced up from his work. "Nice. I'm sure she'll love it."

Curious, Wrath pushed his bangs back for maximum visibility, leaning over the table. "Hey hey, what you drawin'?"

"Nothing!" Envy covered his artwork with his arms, glaring at the kid. "You can't see it. Draw something else and keep yourself busy."

Wrath pouted, falling back down. "Fine, keep secrets. _I_ don't care!" He scanned the table and then looked back up. "Envy, can I have the green crayon now? You had it all this time."

"Yeah yeah, sure." Envy tossed the green crayon across the table.

"Thank you!"

Envy continued hiding his drawing as he worked on it. He had finished drawing himself with a baseball bat, dressed in his normal clothing. He was now drawing a string coming down from the top of the paper. He then grabbed the black crayon and began to draw Wrath... as a piñata attached to the string. He had a really scared look on his face - well, as good a scared look as Envy could draw anyway. He chuckled darkly as he drew this.

Payback was sooooo sweet.

* * *

Wrath hopped up and ran into the kitchen to check the time. "Hey, _Envy_! Mommy's gonna be home any minute! I can't wait to give her the present I made."

"Yep. She'll like it, I'm positive."

"Oh, I almost forgot!" Wrath hurried back into the living room, nearly tripping over himself, and grabbed the paper he'd been drawing on. He strutted around the table and got on his knees next to Envy, leaning his head on the other's arm. He held out the paper. "I made this for you, after I finished Mommy's." He nuzzled his cheek against Envy's bare arm. "I know we fight a lot, but you're the only person besides Mommy who cares about me. So that's for you."

Envy looked from Wrath to the drawing. It was a couple of stick figures holding hands. The one with green hair was taller, and the one with... purple hair was shorter? There was a heart where their hands touched. Above the little one was written "Wrath" with the "r" backwards, and above the taller one was "Envy" with a lowercase "e" instead of uppercase. At the bottom it said "TO THE BEST BIG BROTHER EVER", all in capitals, with _some_ of the "r"s right and "ever" misspelled.

Envy swallowed past a sudden lump in his throat and felt small drops of saline pricking at his eyes. Was this really how Wrath felt about him? They weren't even brothers... they just happened to live in the same place. Then again... Wrath was right. _Nobody_ else cared. Aside from Sloth, nobody else took the time to put up with him and do whatever needed to be done to keep the kid happy. Maybe they _could_ be brothers, even if not by blood...

"Envy!" Wrath snuggled into Envy's lap, tugging on the elder's skort. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry!"

Envy blinked back the hot tears and shoved Wrath off his lap. "I'm not crying, dumbass! It's just... you really need to work on your handwriting."

"Will you teach me later?"

"Where do you get off thinking I'm gonna...!" Envy took a mental step back and sighed in his mind. _One, two, three, four, five._ Envy pulled the slightly frightened child closer into a sort-of hug. He _did_ owe the brat something for drawing that picture, even if he didn't know about it. Considering how Wrath felt about him, that drawing was kind of a low blow - even for Envy. "Hey... sure, I can do that."

"So what did you draw?" Wrath asked, peeking over Envy's shoulder for a look.

"Oh, nothing! Nothing." Envy crumpled up the piece of paper. "Just imagining what I'd do to Greed if he ever stole my hairbrush again."

"Oh. What did you do?"

"I hit him with a drum. You know, like in those old cartoons where the guy's head breaks through the drum."

Wrath giggled. "Funny!"

With that, the door opened and closed. "Wrath, I'm home."

"Mommy!" Wrath grabbed his paper and raced over, leaving a cold breeze behind. "Happy birthday!"

Envy uncrumpled his paper and looked at it. How could he have been so mean to the kid? It wasn't like Wrath had done anything to him... _today_. He wasn't really mad at him for any specific reason. Standing up, he glanced over at the scene by the doorway. Sloth was hugging Wrath and telling him how much she liked the picture, and Wrath was gratefully accepting his "mother's" affection.

Envy felt his eyes turn metaphorically green as he stalked into the kitchen to throw the drawing away. "Sorry, kid," he muttered, "but I guess I'll always be jealous of you. Even if she's not your mom, you have her to go to... with anything. Happy, sad, angry..." He flicked the paper into the trash can before slamming the lid. "You have it, and I didn't. Sorry, but that's why I'm Envy."

He walked back into the living room and saw the mess left on the coffee table, his eye twitching. "_Wrath_!"

Wrath, who was walking away with Sloth, looked back. "Yes, Envy?"

Envy looked at him, and shook his head. "Hey, never mind. I'll clean this up, okay?"

Wrath's face split into a smile. "Thank you!"

Envy knelt to gather up the rest of the crayons. As he scooped up the first one, he glanced over in the direction they'd left in, and sighed heavily. "Maybe there's a reason you have her and I didn't have anyone," he murmured, picking up the remnants of their afternoon. "Maybe you deserve it and I don't."

Envy looked down at the picture Wrath had drawn for him. He was sure about one thing: Wrath had most definitely not deserved the picture he'd drawn.

He may have been annoying, but at least he wasn't an asshole like everyone else. And, Envy thought with a tiny smile, the kid was never going to go through puberty. Maybe he'd stay annoying but cute forever.

"I guess I'll hafta live with it," he grunted, pushing himself up and heading to his room to put the crayons away.

* * *

**HMMMM... not so sure I like this one much. Oh well. REVIEW PLEASE. :D**

**Wrath: WRATHY'S A GOOD BOY! ^^  
**


	8. Swing

Oh sure. He'd known about this for several days in advance, so he should have had time to prepare for the awful outing. But he had decided not to - for whatever reason. He'd do it later, the brat was bugging him, he was playing a game, and so on.

Now the day had arrived and he was thoroughly dreading the events of the afternoon. He had to meet Sloth _and_ the brat at the front door, which was exactly where he was headed. He came up, where they were both waiting. Within an instant Wrath had attached himself to the elder's leg. "Hi, big brother!"

"Yeah, hi." Envy sighed, holding his hand out for the bag Sloth was trying to give him. She was going on a bunch of errands in town today, and she couldn't keep track of Wrath while she was doing all of them. So of course, she had enlisted Envy's help to take care of the kid while she was doing her duties. Well... more like she had kind of blackmailed him with a picture she'd taken of that one time when she'd been in the house and Envy and Wrath had been sleeping. Curse him for letting the brat fall asleep on him... _and_ curse Pride for letting Sloth buy that stupid HD camera. Basically all he had to do was keep Wrath busy, happy, and out of Sloth's hair. That meant he was probably going to be _in_ Envy's hair, but there wasn't much he could do. If he refused, Sloth would tattle to Father and he'd end up going anyway. It was a lose-lose kind of thing.

He accepted the drawstring bag from Sloth and slung it over his shoulders. "So what's in here, anyway?"

"Not much." Sloth opened the door, beginning to venture out. "Just things to occupy Wrath. There are a few books, an MP3 player, a sippy cup with apple juice, and some snacks in case he gets hungry."

"Hell with that, _I'm_ hungry."

"So eat."

"Why does he still drink out of a sippy cup?" Envy questioned, as he and Wrath followed the water-wielder. "I thought you weaned him off that thing, like, three or four years ago."

"A regular cup would have spilled all over the place, and a bottle would just look babyish," Sloth replied coolly.

"So... where are we going first?" Envy sighed, playing with the strings of the bag.

"Mall," Sloth answered, veering off on another path.

"Do we _have_ to?" both Wrath and Envy whined in unison.

"Yes. And if you're good you might get candy on the way home."

Envy blinked. "... Wait, which one of us were you talking to?"

"Both of you."

Envy groaned. "So _not_ how I wanted to spend my day."

* * *

"Envy! Envy, look! What are all those kids doin'? How... How come they're climbin' all over that stuff?"

Envy looked up and glanced over where Wrath was pointing. It was a playground full of little human children, most of whom were scampering around, going down the slide or running around in the playhouse and tunnels. "It's a playground, Wrath."

Wrath blinked, and then tugged on Envy's skort. "W-Well... aren't they gonna get in trouble?"

"No. It's there for them to play on."

"Ohhhh." He stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, seeming mesmerized by the playground, then rushed forward, pulling Envy backward. "Can I go play on it? Please?"

"Wrath!" Envy yanked Wrath off of him. "We're following Sloth, and I'm supposed to be keeping you _out_ of trouble!"

"He can go play," Sloth commented, barely even turning around. "As long as you two promise to stay here until I get back in an hour and a half, he can play."

Wrath nodded frantically. "Of course, Mommy! I promise!" With that, he streaked off to the playground, laughing and grinning.

"Have fun," Sloth said. She back up and grabbed Envy by the hair, pulling him close to her. "By the way, if _anything_ happens to him on your watch - if I find so much as one little _scratch_ that hasn't been covered with a Band-Aid... I will _kill_ you." She let go. "See you in a few hours."

Envy gulped and backed up slowly before turning around and chasing after his so-called little brother. "_Wrath_!"

He looked up and saw Wrath waving at him from the top of the playhouse. He was sitting and about to go down the slide. "Envy! Catch me!"

Envy blew his bangs up as he ran over to the bottom of the slide. "Alright, come on!" he called, holding his arms out in front of himself.

"Here I come!" Wrath pushed himself off and came sliding down. "Wheeeee!"

"Oof!" Envy fell back as Wrath collided with him, knocking both of them down onto the grass. "Wrath! How fast were you going?"

Wrath was busy giggling up a storm. "I dunno! Isn't it awesome?"

"For the love of-" Envy gathered Wrath in his arms, stood up, and then deposited the kid back down. "Go play on something safe! I'm gonna be on the bench watching you. Come over if you want something to eat or drink and... try not to get hurt. If you do, you come over here so I can fix it."

"Okay, Envy!" Wrath jumped up and hugged Envy around the neck, practically gagging him, before racing off to some other part of the playground.

Envy shook his head and reached into the drawstring bag with a smirk. How could Sloth have not noticed him put his book in there? He grabbed it and opened to his bookmark. "Heh-heh, come to me, Invidia, you seductress you..."

* * *

"Envy! Envy!"

Envy glanced up, a lollipop from the bag stuck in his mouth, and rolled his eyes when he saw Wrath... holding hands with some girl. "What do you want, Wrath? You didn't get hurt, did you?"

"Nuh-uh." Wrath brushed his bangs back, and then looked over at the girl, a slight blush spreading across the bridge of his nose. "Ummm, this is Brianne."

"Okay..."

"Brianne, this is my big brother Envy," Wrath continued, talking now to the little blonde he was holding hands with.

"That's your _brother_?" Brianne blinked a few times. "His clothes look like my big sister's!"  
"You didn't think mine did."

"Well, um, 'cause you actually look _good_. Plus you're not wearing a skirt."

"It's a _skort_!" Envy growled, before putting his book back in the bag. "Now, please tell me all you wanted was to introduce me to your little friend?"

**(A/N: Insert "FRIENDS!" thing from **_**Fish Hooks**_**. Kukukuku... ^w^)**

"No. Um, Brianne showed me the swingset." Wrath pointed backward at said swingset. "And it's really fun. I like it."

"... And?"

"Will you come push us? It's hard to get going."

"Why don't you ask Brianne's big sister?"

"She's at the mall," Brianne responded. "Please, En-En?"

Envy mentally smacked himself. "_Only_ if neither of you ever calls me that _again_."

"Okay!"

Envy gave a longing gaze to his book before getting up and following the two kids. "Bye, Invidia..."

Envy pushed on both Wrath's and Brianne's backs, at the same time. He couldn't understand _why_ they had to do it at the same time, make him exert more energy...

"Wheeee!" Wrath laughed. "Envy, you should try this! Haven't you ever swung before?"

"No, I haven't."

"Soooo _do it_!" Wrath was about as high as he could swing, and he jumped off.

"Kid!" Envy shouted, horrified. What the hell was he doing? He was going to get hurt and then Sloth was going to _murder_ him!

To his shock, Wrath landed safely in a crouching position. "Woo-hoo!"

"Yay, Wrathy!" Brianne shrieked, shaking the chains on her swing.

"Come on, Envy!" Wrath pointed to the hot seat he'd just been in. "You try it!"

Envy sighed. "Will it make you happy so you don't scream to Sloth about how terrible I was?"

"Yep."

"Fine." He walked around and sat down in it. "Now what... do I just push off?"

"Walk back in the swing, till you're as far back as you can, then just kinda lift your feet up. It'll make you go forward. Then you pump your legs, like Brianne's doing."

"Okay, okay..." Envy did as he was told and suddenly, he was propelled forward. He felt the air rush past his face and he was assaulted with the feeling of... flying. He'd never flown before, and everything was cool as it cut across his face. It was actually kind of nice. The only thing that he didn't like was that weird feeling in his stomach...

"Oh God!" Envy half-stumbled off the swing and hurried over to some nearby bushes. "_Gonna hurl_!"

Wrath looked at Brianne, and then walked over to Envy. "Hey Envy, does _everything_ make you sick?"

"There's my sister!"

Envy's eyebrow twitched as he tried to stand up. "Shit..." He looked over at Wrath. "Kid, I am gonna _kill_..."

"Hey, are you alright?" came a new, more mature feminine voice.

"I'm fine!" _Stupid humans,_ he thought with a snarl as he got up, wiping his mouth.

_Then_ he laid eyes on her. She was a brunette, with dark eyes. She had a white dress on, and if he squinted hard enough, she looked the _littlest_ bit like that picture of Invidia he'd seen. Maybe the brat and Brianne were good for something after all.

She blinked a few times, and waved her hand in front of his face. "Hello? Um..."

"Huh, what?" He shook his head. "Oh sorry... I kinda just threw up."

"I see that." She looked down at Brianne, who was currently hugging her waist, and smiled a little. "Anyway, I'm glad you and your brother were here. Brianne doesn't have many friends, and she's really shy. I'm happy she found one."

"Hey... no problem. Uh..." He held out his hand. "Everyone calls me Envy."

She shook it, the smile fading a bit. "Samantha, but... don't call me that. It's Sam."

"Okay. So, uh... see you later, I guess."

"Alright, bye." She took Brianne's hand and began walking away.

"Bye-bye, Brianne!" Wrath yelled after her.

"Bye-bye, Wrathy!" Brianne yelled back.

Envy rubbed his forehead and looked over at the clock on the building across the street. "So, uh... we've still got a few minutes till Sloth gets back."

Wrath tugged on Envy's skort and grinned. "Um, Envy...? I gotta go potty."

Great. Now Envy had to find a restroom. _Perfect day._


End file.
